Exercise

Unusually to-day I woke up at 5.00 am for no rhyme or reason. Eyes just opened and neither due to a nightmare nor natural call. Since eyes can’t be trusted and they are the source of all temptation, I refused to get up. It is then that I realized that I am over-weight and I need to do something about it. My mind told me that doing exercise is not a bad idea; another part of my mind said that start from tomorrow. Somewhere I have read that tomorrow is an illusion, so I decided to start the exercise immediately. Got up, brushed the teeth and put on the shoe and started moving towards the Bhiju Pattnaik Park.

The park is reasonably well maintained and it has a track on which everyone was walking or jogging. I was tempted to start jogging but my mind told me ‘slow and steady wins the race’ hence decided to start with walking. The track is one kilometer long, mentally I had determined to make three rounds. Three is a lucky and auspicious number.

With much enthusiasm and excitement, I walked like a whirl-wind, overtaking many on the way and completed the first round rather quickly. By then my energy level was reduced to fifty percent and the speed started dwindling down. To my surprised I noticed that the people whom I had overtaken were now overtaking me. I wanted to increase the speed, but I remembered the famous dialogue of sharuk khan, “har ke jitne walo ko baazigar kehte hai”.  Losing small battles indeed helps us to win the war, so I allowed them to overtake me and maintained my rhythm with a brave face.  When I completed the second round, I was down to the last one percent of my energy.

I did not want to break the resolution of making three rounds and I continued with the third round. Now even the people who were far behind me also started overtaking me; surprisingly I did not feel bad (even to feel bad you need to have energy). I was totally indifferent and fully concentrated on reaching the entrance of the park. If I reach the entrance my third round would be completed. I kept on walking but the entrance was nowhere to be seen, I thought that someone has moved the entrance to a faraway place. It was like I was walking for eternity. After a very long time, finally I reached the entrance and I was thrilled.

Then I calculated how many calories I might have burned. If one walks for a kilometer it is possible that around 50 calories might have been used. That means I have burned 150 calories. I thought of going for one more round in order to make it 200 calories, but my mind advised me not to be greedy.

I was wearing XIMB T-shirt; one lady asked me whether I am studying at XIMB. I did not know what to say. Either she thought that I look young enough to be a student or she assumed that XIMB is an old-age home where adult education is being conducted. If the former is correct then she is suffering from ‘optical illusion’ and if the latter is true then it is an ‘information disaster’ and we need to go for the brand building exercise and not for morning walk.

Also mentally I noted not to wear XIMB T-shirt for morning walk (in any case, getting up at 5.00 am is  not going to take place in near future, because accidents take place only once a year or once in two year)

Driving Car in USA- III

Two months of driving gave me the necessary confidence on the road. One day one of my friends came to my residence. Since I had a class, I took him in the car to show him Loyola Columbia Campus.

This time I was overconfident. There was a tendency to show off – see how well I drive. Things were going fine, and we were chatting (may be chattering) continuously. After about 20 minutes, in the rear view I noticed the police jeep following our car. I was confused whether the police is following me or he is on a joy ride. Then the police man shouted on the speaker ‘park the car on the side’. It became clear that he is after me, but now the confusion was which side do I need to park – right or left. Sensing my confusion the police man shouted ‘park the car on the right side’.

Being a law abiding citizen of India (in USA Social Security Number, I am referred as the alien; since I liked the film ‘alien’, I was excited being called alien), I obeyed the instruction immediately (as if I had a choice). The one happy thought during that time was if police takes me to the station, then I have a valid reason to miss the class. And it was a small consolation.

I parked the car and the police man parked his vehicle 200 meters behind me. I opened the door to get out, the police man shouted ‘do not come out, and stay inside the car’. I shut the door (once again not much choice). The police man asked me to lower the window glass, and I did, then he asked me to show the license. To take out the license I had to stand up since it was at the back pocket of my pants. The car was small and I am big, yet he insisted me to stay inside. After some struggle I managed to pull out the license and gave it to him. He was surprised that I was using international driving license not the USA driving license. Then asked for the vehicle license, I said that the car belongs to the college and I just don’t know where it is. He was losing his temper. He said, “Do they (college administration) know that you are using international license?” They only provided me the license (it was a lie; I got it through the internet, at desperate situation one is forgiven for saying few lies).

The police man was a good person, so he believed me. Then went to his vehicle and spoke to someone (might have been his superior). And I was looking for the vehicle license, and finally located it. I wanted to show it to him, and opened the door; again he shouted “stay inside”. I sat down, he came to me after five minutes and said, “This is a verbal warning, a sticker is missing on your license plate, inform the authorities to do the necessary thing, now you can proceed”. There was a great relief also some disappointment. I missed the chance of seeing the inside of American police station also now I have to take the class.

The police in USA seem to be obsessed with following procedures. For me it looked like OCD (obsessive-compulsive- disorder). I was wondering why do they need to follow elaborate procedure, then I realized that they are meticulous about procedures because they are afraid. Whereas our police in India is cool about procedures, because they are not afraid and are courageous. I think at home we are in safe hands guys.

My driving license is not a proper international license. What I have is the Indian driving license printed in the international license format. I became aware of this crucial fact only after the event. Internet guys have just bluffed me and in turn unknowingly I had bluffed the police man. Since, the police man was good, he overlooked the detail (even though he followed the procedure religiously). From the outlook of the license, he assumed that it is an international license.

My teaching assignment has come to an end. The fall semester is over. And it is time to come home. Thank god there is no more driving at USA.

Driving Car in USA- II

After taking necessary practice at driving, for the first time without anyone I drove the car to Loyola Columbia campus, 25 miles away from my residence. I was nervous and my mind put forward 100 things that can go wrong. Since there wasn’t any choice, I started the car. First few minutes passed without any untoward event.

Then came the first and terrible decision making process. I had to turn towards “83 South” but before that there is a turn “83 North”, I kept on telling ‘avoid 83 North’, when you are nervous you end up doing exactly what you want to avoid. That’s what exactly happened. Both the turns are on the right hand side, both are within the distance of 200 meters, and I was driving at 68 miles per hour. Mistakes take place, and mine was rather costly. I had taken not only a wrong turn but also was diametrically in the opposite direction.

Luckily I had GPS, who ever had invented this machine must have been a genius with human concern (might have studied rural management). I started following the directions that were given by GPS. It is not a dialogue, it was one way interaction, GPS kept on speaking – turn left, turn right and go straight for 2 miles. Of all the instructions, the words ‘go straight for 2 miles’ was the best, it sounded melodious since all I have to do was just pressing the accelerator. And I was moving in circles and it took 2 and half hours for me to reach my destination in the place of 45 minutes.

On that day I too understood one of mystery that always bothered me. Moses, the great leader of Israel, travelled 40 years to reach Israel from Egypt. If you look at the world map, it is so clear that the distance is not much, he should have reached within 6 to 9 months, even if you give the benefit of doubt in large quantity, he should not have taken more than a year. Then why did he take so long?

I think that he too might have taken the wrong turn that too diametrically opposite  turn just like me. And the GPS guide he had might have taken him in circles. If you keep on travelling in circles, then it will take not only 40 years, it can become endless.

Lesson number one I learned was that in nervousness and anxious moments think about what you have to do and not what you have to avoid.

Three idiots

First time I heard this story in one of the talk given by sadhguru (jaggi vasudev). Then heard and read the different versions of the same story in different sources.

There were three friends – Shankar, Ravi and Raju - working in a government office as clerks. Their office was on the third floor of the building. Since they were working in the same department, proximity bred companionship and companionship translated into friendship not out of choice, manily due to the lack of option (more like an arranged marriage). They had mastered the art of tolerating one another, and they could do things together. Years have passed without much ups and downs.

One day as usual, all three assembled during their lunch break with the tiffin boxes. Ravi opened his tiffin box and found three chappatis and potatoe curry. He stared at the chappati and said, “ Last 15 years, every day without fail, my wife gives me the same food for lunch. I am so angry, can’t she prepare some variety. If tomorrow also she gives me chappati and potatoe curry for lunch, then I will jump out through the window and kill myself”. Raju felt sorry for him and opened his tiffin box and found curd rice and lemon pickle. And he realized that he too has the same menu for last 15 years for lunch and he said, “Me too in the same boat, if tomorrow I get the same lunch, I too will jump through the window”. Shankar opened the box and he found lemon rice and mango pickle and said, “ my case is not different, 15 years same lemon rice for lunch, if it is repeated I will follow your way”.

The next day three friends sat down for the lunch. Ravi opened the box and found chappati and potatoe curry. He looked at his friends, got up and jumped through the window. Raju saw curd rice, got up and jumped through the window. In was now Shanker’s turn. As the fate would have it, he too had the same lemon rice, and he too jumped through the window.

Destiny is indeed cruel; when you want to die, you don’t and when you want to live, you get heart attack. The three friends were injured and broken few limps but did not die. They were admitted in the hospital. Their wives and relatives gathered in the hospital, and everyone was crying. Ravi’s wife was mumbling, “Had I known that my husband hated chappati so much, I would have prepared some other item for the lunch. All he had to do was informing me what he wants. Why did he do this to himself?” Raju’s wife muttered, “ I thought he likes curd rice, if he wanted different food he could have told me so”. But Shankar’s wife was totally perplexed and in a tone of disbelief said, “I do not cook anything in my house, it is my husband who prepares food, if he did not like lemon rice he should have prepared something else”.

Pain is totally different from suffering. The former is caused usually from outside and the latter is internal. Pain can be cured by medical treatment but suffering gets complicated with drugs. Pain is real whereas suffering is mind created illusion.

Public speaking

Phobia is defined as an irrational fear. Public speaking is the phobia suffered by majority of people in the world. Talking is something we all enjoy doing. Look at the people who gossip, how animated and involved they become. When we gossip, we get fully involved in the content, mind and emotions become one and we forget time.

Both the forms of speaking – gossiping and public speaking – are more or less same. There is an important content, flow of language and engaging the listener by captivating his or her attention. And there is only one minor difference and that is the number of people listening. In gossiping, the number is few and in public speaking it is many.

Then why are we afraid of one and attracted to the other? The primary function of our brain is to protect us and make sure that we survive well and produce children for the next generation. And our brain for most part got hard wired when we were living in the forest which was extremely hostile. Human being is a pack animal that we lived in group and went for hunting in a group and cultivated land in a group. So for an individual, his status in the group is utmost important. If he is ridiculed or laughed at, then his position in the group will be very lower and in that precarious situation he will neither get served best food available and he will be neglected by the women of the group. One needs to be in a higher status to attract opposite gender. If dogs are supposed to give a public speech, they also will go through the tension we go through because they are pack animal. But in case cats have to give public speech, they will be cool and chilled out since they live alone and not a pack animal so they give a damn what fellow cats think about him or her.

Since the mind is hard-wired to take care of our survival, it sees the public speaking may harm our status in the group. So it creates a picture of catastrophe when we need to speak in public. It projects that the situation is life and death. In the present world, even though, we know that we will not be thrown out of the society for messing up our speech, and also we know that most are sleeping or day dreaming when we speak, yet the primitive brain start controlling our behavior and we become anxious and depressed.

If you suffer from the phobia called public speaking, you are perfectly normal. It means that you do give lots of weight to other people’s opinion about you. There are few techniques in overcoming this phobia, but my question is why do you want to overcome? It is always good to have few phobias.

Women Executive

As an assignment, I asked my students to write a research paper conducting survey and collecting primary data collection. One group decided to collect data from women executives. And they were studying the educational level of personal and near and dear ones and its relationship with the leadership style. They used the standard SPSS program to arrive at the conclusion.

Finding 1:  High educational level of friends was highly correlated with transformational leadership style. And the regression analysis too pointed out that friends’ level of education influences the transformational leadership style of the person.

Finding 2: High educational level of the husband was correlated negatively with laissez-faire leadership style. Regression analysis too confirmed the similar relationship.

It means that if a woman executive has friends with high level of education, then they seem to influence the transformational leadership qualities in her. That is, they help her to develop positive behaviors of leadership. And if the husband’s educational level is high then he seems to be discouraging the laissez-faire leadership style. It means that he helps her to overcome her leadership weaknesses.

The common sense observation tells us that we feel comfortable with a person who helps us to grow in our strength, and feel bit uneasy and respectful towards the person who help us to overcome our weakness.

No wonder extra marital affairs are on rise in the modern world.

Suicide Bomber

Following are the behavioral characteristics of a suicide bomber on the day of his/her mission:

1. Fresh shave: male bombers take of their beard in order to blend with the crowd. Makes them less suspicious. The result is paler skin on the lower half of face since there is no recent exposure to the sun. (not applicable for female suicide bomber)
2. Inappropriate Dressing: It is a no brainer observation. To carry explosive, you can't wear tight dress like Salman Khan. It has to be loose and heavy. Ex. wearing rain coat when there is no sign of any rain etc..

3. The robotic walk: not because they are in ecstasy, but they are carrying extra 40 pounds of unaccustomed weight (explosives) and also they are drugged.

4. Irritable: not in a mood to appreciate people’s questions. They snap any remarks made by others

5. Sweating: due to heavy clothing and anxiety

6. Tics: kind of mild convulsion when they are not moving

7. Nervous behavior: doing same actions repeatedly and not being aware of it.

8. Breathing: Controlled breathing – rhythmic and forceful to suppress fear and panic

9. Stare rigidly ahead: not looking at any one, the idea is that if they see no one then none sees them.

10.Incantation of some formula (prayer like words – repeating few sentences inaudibly). Moving of lips, but no one understands what they are reciting

11.They carry a large bag. The detonator is too big and too heavy for a pocket, so they need a bag.

12.Hand is kept inside the bag: constantly holding on the button they have to press.

(By Lee Child, in “Gone Tomorrow”)

Note:

 ** Some students exhibit most or all these behavioural patterns during the final exam. Do not treat them as a suicide bomber.

 ** But if some one exhibit these patterns for a prolonged period of time, he may not be practising to become a suicide bomber, but most likely contemplating to commit suicide. Though you will be considered by that person as an intruder, you should take initiative to have conversation. Who knows, you might save that person's life.

The Quest

Wilber smith is a great writer of historical fiction. Many of his novels are spell binding with real characters and in an authentic background of events. History and culture are presented in a mesmerizing style.

“The Quest” is based in an ancient Egypt, it is in a mythological genre, it begins with a gripping story line but after 50 pages it becomes a great disappointment. In my opinion this is the worst novel by Wiber Smith.

Every event seems to be predictable. He has a taken an adult theme but handled it in a childish manner.  It is written in a pathetic linear style of storytelling.

It is thick novel nearly 900 pages, after reading the novel the first question comes to the mind is; what is wrong with me for reading this stupid fiction? And the second question: why on earth did I waste my money and time.

Wasting money alone or time alone is understandable. We do it quite often. But wasting money and time only morons will do it. I did feel like a moron.

My advice is very simple: if want to read it then borrow it from a simpleton who might have bought unknowingly ( you will waste only time), and in case you have bought it then give it to someone who has  irritated you in the past or give it to anyone  (every one is a potential irritator, so it does not matter).

Don’t buy and read; you will end up joining the gang of morons and end up cursing yourself for being literate.

Nuclear Attack

The commander was giving instruction to the members of his team regarding how to protect oneself from the enemy’s onslaught.

·   In case of Knife: if the enemy attacks you with knife, keep in mind that knife is just few inches long, so keeping away from him is important. Always focus on the metal, your eyes should never leave it, when he comes near, hold the wrist and press the nerve with all your might. The knife will fall down certainly.

·   In case of Hand Gun: the hand gun is light weighted, so the aim cannot be accurate. Keep 200 feet distance; hand gun will not harm you. If you are closer, then try to shield yourself with some metal.

·   In case of Machine Gun: the purpose of machine gun is to kill as many as possible. It is not for choosing some particular target. Keep yourself away from it by 100 feet and you are safe.

·   In case of Shot Gun: the shot guns are used by snipers. The purpose of shot gun is choosing the target and shooting him down from far away. The easy way to escape is keep moving in a zigzag manner, not being predictable in movements. Do not stay in one place longer than few seconds.

·  In case of Nuclear Attack: finally we have come to the big one. In case of nuclear attacks, all you have to do is just following few steps: stand on your feet, spread the legs as far away as possible, bent the heads forward and kiss the earth, and say good bye.

Now do you understand why I support nuclear power plant? Not because Abdul Kalam has given a clean chit. Because it is very easy to handle the nuclear explosion and we will get the chance to recite the famous dialogue of Dharmendra in Sholey: Ghave wallo, good bye…..