The Gossip

                                                                             

Is gossiping a bad habit? Waste of time and energy? Or does it have higher purpose that one needs to master the art of gossiping?

Some psychologists term it as ‘the relational aggression’; it can break relationship among friends and may lead some people to the brink of committing suicide. And that is the dark side of gossiping, if we do it recklessly, we can harm others and ourselves.

Some say that men gossip only about money and success, whereas woman gossip about almost everything. This statement is too good to be true, maybe it was true when men were the sole bread winners and controlled not only their affairs but also every others, but in present day woman and men measure up similar standard when it comes to gossiping, there may be a minor insignificant difference.

In fact, gossiping has many positive points, and it is not easy to be a master gossiper.

First up all, gossiping is an intellectual activity. You have to keep your mind, eyes and ears sharp to pick up news about others. And that is not enough; you must be an interesting and powerful communicator. Words must flow from tongue like water (I am not referring to salivation, but similar to it).

Then you need to add emotion in what you are sharing, and the most important thing is you need to add masala – exaggeration is a must, if you tell exactly what had happened, people mistake you for a news reporter, you need to use imagination and add whatever is necessary, but do not overdo it, if you overdo it then people will call you a liar. And liars are neither respected nor believed, you will end up spoiling not only the game but also your name.

Remember, in gossiping, content is not much important, what brings excitement is the process of the delivery system. Recent research study points out; your brain cells remain active and alive if you are a good gossiper.

And gossiping is inherently a community activity, it binds a group, it provides warning signal about the bad boss and neighbors’ wife/husband. It forewarns you. One who is forewarned is forearmed.

Anthropologists suggest that gossiping has played a major role in the language development, without gossiping, language might have remained very limited and without many vocabularies. If you think that it is writers and scholars are responsible for the development of a language, you are wrong. In any case, only a good gossiper can become a good story teller and a scholar.

The third important contribution of gossiping is that it serves as a moral instruction and guardian of moral system. When I share a gossip with someone (it will be always about a third person), I am telling him not only what is wrong with the third person but also indirectly I am warning him not to be like him. If you behave like that person, then some will gossip about you. Thus the fear being gossiped deters people from indulging in wrongful activities.

And the final and the most important benefit of gossiping is that it increases our self esteem, especially if the gossip is about some successful and high achievers. We feel great that the great persons also are very cheap, that means I am greater than the so-called the great people. This improves one’s self worth tremendously without doing any extraordinary work. Good name and feeling gained without sweating.

The wisdom statement, “Too much of anything is dangerous” is applicable to gossiping too. If you over do it, then people will become very cautious in your presence and eventually hate you and expel you from their group. Moderation is the key word as always. Do it intelligently and sparingly, people will treat you with respect.