The Red

When I was in college if any one wears red colored shirt or t-shirt, all others use to make fun of him, calling him the brother in law of Govinda. The color was identified with villagers. I too have ridiculed this color when Kingfisher air host (Girls) has this as their uniform.

Behavioral economists, who study the effect behavior on economics, have studied the color red. The have found if the waitress in the restaurant, wears red color shirt or skirt, she is likely to get higher tips from male customers than other color. It works in the similar fashion if she has something in red color on the head (clip..). But it has no effect on female customers. And this does not get attention neither from male or female customers, if a waiter (male) wears red, may be bulls’ attention he will get unconditionally.

When a girl blush, her cheeks become red, seeing this men’s heart melt. This unconscious process may be the culprit for getting high tips when a waitress wears something in red. To find out one more reason, refer any book on evolutionary psychology.

Women like men wearing dress in red provided those men have higher social status. This does not sound much of a research. May because the color red is connected with blood and valor.

But one thing is sure just the color red will not save you and make you rich and attractive, just look at the condition of Kingfisher Air-line.

Suffering

Sufferings and pain of other people create different reactions in different people.

If it produces pleasure and joy, then you are a sadist. The world has to be careful with you. Eventually you can become a monster.

If it brings back to you, memories of your personal pain and suffering, then you are born to be miserable. The world may misunderstand that you are kind hearted, but the fact is that you are a selfish snob, who loves to live in personal miseries. When you visit a patient in the hospital, your focus would be your past sufferings and not the present pain of the patient.

If it brings in you pity, then you are sympathizer. You console yourself declaring the world is cruel, and the other is blessed with bad luck. You carry on living as if everything is OK with you. It is a common man syndrome.

If it brings within you compassion, then you are the enabler. You make sure to do whatever you can, to correct the situation. You show it in action as well as in words. You share the suffering, and do the best you can. The world will be happy that you have visited the planet called earth at the right time and right place.

The truth we need to keep in mind is that we enact all these four characteristics, depending on the situation and person. When our enemy suffers, we display the characteristic of a sadist. When our family member is in pain, we become enabler. When a stranger is suffering, either we display the character of sympathizer or miserable.

It is only when we are enabler to the stranger; we truly become a human being. We are born as animal and our choices transform us as human being or a monster.

Black Swan

It was advertised as a psychological thriller, I had purchased the DVD long back, was waiting for the right time to watch the film. It was worth the wait. Brilliant story that deals with the psychology of perfection and achievement motivation. At the present day, when the achievement motivation is on rise and the world more complex and globalized, a film of this kind act as a warning signal. it deals with the peril of innocence when it meets the desperate desire for perfection and competition.

Innocence and corruption are two poles of a spectrum. What happens when one has to display both to win the race?

Nina’s mother is a failed dancer, like most of the parents she wants her daughter to succeed where she failed. At the same time, she wants her daughter to always remember the sacrifice she had made for her. So Nina seeks perfection in all she does especially in dance. Her role model is Beth, the reigning super star, who has perfected the dance of swan queen. The time changes and Nina is selected to play the main character. Beth who is the symbol of perfection and glory for Nina, is devastated and attempts to commit suicide, but survives the attempt and lives a miserable life.

The dilemma in front of Nina is: if I do not succeed I will be like my mother who sees herself as a failure and lives a life of misery. If I succeed like Beth, one day I too will lose the top position and live miserably like Beth. If you succeed you are doomed, if you fail you are doomed. Classical case of catch-22.

What a way to look at life, pessimism at its best. The mind is hard wired to notice negative things, since it helps us to avoid danger and ensures our survival. But when it is out of control, life can become a torture. If you enjoy, you feel guilty. If you are miserable, you feel bad. Nina has to play the role of swan Queen in the play. And the swan queen too faces this dilemma, and swan queen solves the problem by embracing death. Does Nina too follow the same fate? Director ends the film in a most ambiguous manner, letting viewer to conclude the story.

Veterans

At present I am staying in the community where veterans are living. Fr.George Hess, the founder of De Nobili Schools, Dhanbad, and Fr. Ed McGrath, one of the founding fathers of XLRI. Age catches up with everyone, whether you have done something monumental or just floated through life, lived like a spectator as his life passed through.

What surprises me is that students, who were taught by them 30 or 40 years back, remember them rather clearly and now and then come and visit them. It is not the subjects taught by them is being remembered, it is invariably the interactions they had with them.

They had accompanied them unconditionally, they had taken corrective actions whenever something wrong taken place, but never out of anger. They loved the work they did, and performed to their best. I am not saying they were without any faults, they had their share of frailties but when it came to students, they always placed them first.

Both are in their nineties, the common thread that one can see in them even now is the sense of humor. You can say anything to Ed McGrath, primarily because he has hearing problem and secondarily he can take anything as a joke. Very rarely I see him in a negative frame of mind. Though he is in constant pain, due to the old age his waist bones are weak and a source of continuous pain, he manages his life well.

They were happy when they were exceedingly busy and doing magnificent work, and they are happy when they are weak, old and doing nothing. The point I always believed that happiness is not a result, it is the cause. Happiness is a state of existence where one is grateful for all one has and hasn’t, and for all one is and isn’t.   

Depression

Long back, I met a young person in Pune. Working as an executive, athlete and doing well by any yard stick one chooses to measure. But he was depressed.

He was emphatic and articulate, almost convinced me that there is nothing one can do about his depression. His arguments went somewhat like this: I was going by a bike, and saw another person of my age going by an expensive car. He must be a successful person, he might have done some thing right that is the reason he is having that life style. Where as I must have done everything wrong that is the reason I am going by bike. Therefore I am good for nothing.

I know that the mind is a strange mechanism; it can make a fool of Socrates. You can use logic to defeat it; but it can invent hyper logic to prove its point of view. Yet we can be sure that it always behaves with a purpose; invariably it operates with a definite purpose. And the purpose is protecting our survival and nothing more and nothing less. What is the best form of defense? It is avoidance. Avoid everything and everyone, there will be no danger, thus survival is guaranteed. Not a bad logic for the mind to use to protect us from painful realities and the dangerous world. If you avoid for a long period of time, there will be no danger but depression will set in gradually.

That young man asked me the question; what is wrong with him? I said that there is nothing is wrong with him, and just gave him the gyan on mind, a long explanation, when I realized my talk might bore him and increase his depression more, I stopped. Then I asked him what is it that which is giving him real pain, expensive car and rich young man are just metaphors and similes, they indicate some thing more concrete which you are afraid of facing. And what are the recent disappointments he has faced.

I had to leave for Mumbai that night, and we departed leaving the questions hanging around the atmosphere.

Angel Heart

Few movies disturb you, and linger around the mind for a long time. Without a question, Angel Heart is one of them. Keep away from the film if you are addicted to happy ending and can’t stomach hard hitting realities – blood, murder, incest, betrayal. It is a supernatural thriller with a gripping story line. Symbolism is used to the hilt. Every scene is open to multiple levels of interpretation.

It is not a new film, I happened to view it recently by chance. Performance by all actors is top notch, in a way everyone has lived his or her character. It is a dark film and deals with the dark side of us.

Our good intensions are often colored by primal forces. Good person is the one who is not aware of his dark side just like the evil person who is not aware of his good side. At the right moments, at the right place one is capable of doing anything – act of great sacrifice, cannibalism, incest etc...

Soul is used as a symbol of one’s own interior positive self. We know not the importance of its presence till we lose it. Once we lose it, we try our best to redeem it. Since short cut is what we seek to achieve our most cherished goal – power, fame and glory -, we invariably seek redemption too in short-cut. In that process, we complicate our life to the extent we know not who we are and what to do, in utter confusion we swallow and swallowed by our miseries, sorrow and self-pity.

If you are weak hearted, afraid of dark do not watch this film.