Disappointment

The effective formula to be in a constant state of disappointment is very simple. Create an internal image of something or somebody and make every effort to fit that something or somebody into that internal image. I can guarantee you that you will be disappointed perpetually.

More ideal and more perfect is the internal image, better is the chance of getting disappointed. If you do not want to be disappointed then just reverse the process, form the internal reality according the reality presented before you.

The film ‘My Fair Lady’ highlights this phenomenon beautifully. The good thing about changing the other person according to one’s ideal internal image is that both will be disappointed in the end. The change agent will feel betrayed and the changed agent will feel manipulated. What a situation to be in?

Yet, it is what that is happening in majority of relationships. Entering into the relationship with the hope of changing the other, and when the eventual outcome happens, each one cries foul.

Does it mean that one should not have any internal images at all? No, one should have internal image, otherwise he will be a person without any radar, confused and floating like a dry stick in the wild river called life. Internal images are the maps which help us to choose things and people, but they are not the territory.

Having a map is important, even if it is a wrong map no problem. At times, wrong maps can lead us to a major discovery. It happened to Christopher Columbus, he discovered America by mistake with the faulty map.

So the point one should never forget is that when the territory does not fit the map, then make necessary changes in the map, and don’t waste time in changing the territory.

To change the territory as per your internal map, you must be a God. Never play the ‘God Game’, it is pretty dangerous.

Orientation

At the beginning of the academic year, it is customary for faculties introducing themselves and say something about life in general and welcome the new students to the institute. The following address is what I had planned to say during that occasion, since I had to leave XIMB before the orientation, I am posting it here. Since I am new to XLRI, I will not be using it in the similar program at XLRI.

I am George Joseph, belonging to OB/HR area and constantly attempting to teach something. Welcome to XIMB.

For some of you, joining XIMB might have been a dream, and you have succeeded in getting admission. For you it is more like a love-marriage. 

And for others, joining at XIMB might have been the default option, after attempting many trials with other premier business schools. And for you it is more like an arranged-marriage.

Both love and arranged marriages can be a stupendous success or monumental failure. For it to succeed, five factors are very important:

1.Being Grateful for what has happened to you. Accept the fact that you have been placed in a unique position. Destiny has given you an opportunity and it is up to you to make full use of it or throw away this opportunity to the dustbin. 

2.Cultivate genuine respect for the other, respecting the strength of companions and understanding their weakness. 

 3.Remain focused, work hard and grow in the spirit of perseverance. 

4.Develop a ‘constant feedback system’. Evaluate your actions and behaviors on daily basis. 

5.Be firm and resilient at the face failures and disappointments. Your goal is winning the war and you can always afford to lose few battles. In fact they teach you valuable lessons which success hides them from you.

I thought of including one more factor and that is incorporating a sense of humor no matter what is the situation, but it is not an independent variable, it is more of a dependent variable. If you have all the above five variables, then the sixth one automatically happens as a byproduct.

In case you do not want to have all these variables in your life, then keep away from marriage and become a priest.

Since we are talking about your marriage with XIMB, these variables are essential for being a successful student, and if you do not want to possess these factors, then the only option left for you is becoming a faculty.

Now you know why I had decided to become a priest and a faculty. Wish you all to become bright and successful students, all the best.

Bitter Is Parting But Sweet Are Memories

Every good thing must come to the end. Time has come to move on. I will be joining XLRI from the coming academic year onwards.

Life at XIMB was smooth and enriching, a place everyone would like to be, and it brings out your best and helps you to overcome the weakness.

Students are great, intelligent and disciplined. Faculties are friendly, understanding and thought provoking. And the staff is beyond adjectives.

Jamshedpur is just 7 hours away from Bhubaneswar  by train (if there is no chain-pulling and naxalites are on a vacation), 30 minutes by super jet (yet to be launched) and Zero seconds by thought (somewhere I have heard that the thought is faster than light).  Since thoughts create our world, moving out and moving in are mere illusions. My association will continue with XIMB.

May the Great Spirit (I mean God, not alcohol) guide us all….

Regards

George Joseph