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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Disappointment


The effective formula to be in a constant state of disappointment is very simple. Create an internal image of something or somebody and make every effort to fit that something or somebody into that internal image. I can guarantee you that you will be disappointed perpetually.

More ideal and more perfect is the internal image, better is the chance of getting disappointed. If you do not want to be disappointed then just reverse the process, form the internal reality according the reality presented before you.

The film ‘My Fair Lady’ highlights this phenomenon beautifully. The good thing about changing the other person according to one’s ideal internal image is that both will be disappointed in the end. The change agent will feel betrayed and the changed agent will feel manipulated. What a situation to be in?

Yet, it is what that is happening in majority of relationships. Entering into the relationship with the hope of changing the other, and when the eventual outcome happens, each one cries foul.

Does it mean that one should not have any internal images at all? No, one should have internal image, otherwise he will be a person without any radar, confused and floating like a dry stick in the wild river called life. Internal images are the maps which help us to choose things and people, but they are not the territory.

Having a map is important, even if it is a wrong map no problem. At times, wrong maps can lead us to a major discovery. It happened to Christopher Columbus, he discovered America by mistake with the faulty map.

So the point one should never forget is that when the territory does not fit the map, then make necessary changes in the map, and don’t waste time in changing the territory.

To change the territory as per your internal map, you must be a God. Never play the ‘God Game’, it is pretty dangerous.

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