Bottling Up

Champagne bottles are aesthetically made; their appearance is great but taste like spoiled pepper water. No wonder in parties people open them not for drinking but to pour it over other people. Indian cricket team followed this ritual after winning world cup, and it perfectly make sense. My favorite drink is vodka, since once upon a time I was a communist and I like to keep some connection with Russia, at least in drinking.

It is good to bottle up alcohol and wine in magnificently prepared bottle, but bottling up emotion is a dangerous habit. If one does not learn to let out irritation and heart burns at regular and appropriate intervals, he may end up exploding at wrong time for any minor reason. This not only embarrasses oneself and creates guilt feeling; it also could harm the innocent bystander who is trying to joke with you.

I am not saying that you need to shout at people every time someone annoys you. But constructively express your disliking. The supreme example is Bertrand Russell.

Once Bertrand Russell entered a club of which he was a member. He kept his umbrella on the stand and joined his friends for the party. When the party was over, as he was leaving, he became aware that someone has taken his umbrella. Immediately he wrote a note saying, “Dear Noble Man, kindly return my umbrella at my house address”. His friend who read the note was surprised and said to Russell, “You are calling a person who has taken your umbrella as a noble man, what is wrong with you?” Russell answered, “Look in this club only gentlemen and noble men are allowed to enter, and a person who takes away other person’s umbrella cannot be a gentleman, that is the reason I addressed him as a noble man”

There is always a way to get things done without exploding and without bottling up your feelings. All you need is something called imagination.

Fair coin

“I have a fair coin. When I tossed it, I got ‘head’ 99 times consistently. What is the probability of getting ‘head’ on the 100^th time when I will toss?”

I asked this question to some of the candidates who came for the interview, invariably everyone answered that the probability of getting 'head' on 100th time is .5

One thing is clear that they did not read the book ‘Black Swan’, because the question was taken from that book. The other thing that is crystal clear is that they are good at statistics but very naive in dealing with the world of grey. They are just blind to the data provided and totally trusting the statement that the coin is fair.

On tossing, if a coin turns up ‘head’ for 99 times consistently then how can that be a fair coin? One has to be a blind believer (another term for a fanatic) to believe that the coin is fair. How can anyone deny the data? Coincidences take place, but to believe that 99 times coincidence has taken place is beyond imagination. Yet not a single one noticed the trap. They took some time and reflected to come up with the answer .5

In the question asked, there are two parts – one is an assumption and the other is the data. Assumption is that the coin is fair, and the data is 99 times it has turned up with ‘head’. We believe the assumption and ignore the data provided. No wonder, any street smart guy is able to take us for a ride time and again, and we too prefer to live in the world of ignorance.

Because questioning assumptions demands not only sharp intelligence but also courage.

Evolution (Effect of Kudankulam visit)

 Long time ago

When a monkey managed

To become a man

        

        ‘Order’ emerged

        ‘Disorder’ multiplied

         Government was formed

         Corruption was glorified

         Gods were created

         Humans were scarified

         Wealth has increased

         Poverty is amplified

Monkeys of the world

Forgive us

For shattering your dreams

Chennai Admission Interview – 2012

Warning: observations are limited only to my experience at Chennai Admission Inerview-2012, scientific conclusion is neither possible nor required.

•  Boys outnumbered girls at an alarming ratio of 9.5 : 0.5. This ratio is much lower than any other previous years. Either girls have seen the meaninglessness (farce) of pursuing MBA studies and they are opting out or boys are becoming smarter and smarter, which is not an encouraging sign from sociological perspective.

•  “I want to be an entrepreneur, not now but eventually, five years down the line” was the readymade answer given by majority of candidates till last year, when they were asked the question, “Why MBA?” This year, for a change they have decided to tell the truth – it is just a career move. When they speak truth they are very charming and convincing.
• 
  
• Almost all candidates have been attending multiple interviews across the country. Considerable amount of money is being spent on travelling alone. Management institutes must come up with a solution to ease their pain. Some were totally exhausted from various interviews and their only concern was – ‘I give a damn whether you select or not, just stop asking questions and let me go.’

Interview 2012 (Fishing from the Fish-Tank)

Admission interview has begun for the management institutes. I went to Bangalore for the same. My preliminary observation is that over 95% of students are from engineering background. And over 95% of engineering graduates were from one of the following branches: Computer Science, Information System / Communication and Electrical/Electronic or both. And the overwhelming number of students is with work experience. Infosys, TCS and Cognizance dominate the list. This is the classical case of fishing from the fish-tank. Looks like either younger generation is very eager to leave these companies or they have the best of talents who could crack entrance examination.

This information is regarding Bangalore only, that too only about the first five days. If the situation is similar in all cities and all centers, then even God can’t help us –homogeneous group lead to one line of thought and action, and engulf itself with one kind of discussion and conclusion. Already engineering students dominate the management institutes, and now it is going to be specific branches of engineering students who are going to rule the circus.

People are already analyzing the data and coming with several interpretations. Following are some of the hypothetical propositions, they can be totally wrong:

1.  Software engineers are very soft and coding for years is driving them crazy and they are cracking, as a result they end up cracking admission tests too.
2. Seven years ago the best of the lot went into to these branches of engineering, so it is a natural outcome.
3. Software engineers have more free times in comparison with others and so they spend more time for the preparation.
4.  XAT and CAT are designed to suit students with engineering background.

Whatever may be the reason, the outcome can’t be changed. Postmortem doe s not give much kick for me. When something is inevitable, we need to celebrate it by embracing it (one more reason to hit the bottle).

When I was a student, it was less than 30% who came with engineering degree for personal management and little more for the business management programs, lot more was with science, art and commerce degrees. As the world being increasingly dominated by machines, engineers started dominating the schools of management.

For an expert with hammer, everything will look like nail, for experts in engineering; everything is going to be either nuts and bolts or zeroes and ones.

Life is going to be boring for sure in the coming years and I am contemplating on taking sabbatical. Where to go? and what to do?  still remain  mysteries

Three Glasses

A man entered the bar and ordered for three glasses of beer. The waiter was surprised, in his long and dedicated service, he had never witnessed one person ordering at a time three glasses of beer. Since the owner had repeatedly instructed that customer is god, he just followed the order. Brought three glasses of beer and placed in front of the man.

Out of curiosity, the waiter asked the question, “Sir, you are alone then why three glasses?”

The man answered, “It is a family union, and  I hate to drink alone. One glass is for my brother living in USA, the second one is for my brother working in Dubai and the third one is for me.”

The waiter was truly impressed. And he admired the bond among brothers. Always he knew that there is a method to madness when it comes to people who love drinking in the bar.

The man repeated the same ritual of ordering three glasses whenever he visited the bar. Then one day, the man ordered two glasses of beer only. The waiter was disturbed and concerned. After serving the two glasses of beer, the waiter inquired, “Hope everything is OK, is there anything wrong with any of your brothers?”

The man in his stoic tone answered, “My brother in USA is doing well and fine. My brother at Dubai is wonderful and in peak of health. I have ordered only two glasses of beer because I have given up drinking”

There is always a method to madness and do not forget there is more than one way in which one can give up drinks.

Pragmatism Vs. Idealism

American presidents, till the arrival of Roosevelt, followed the dictum given by George Washington: let’s mind our business, and not get into the affairs of the world problems. Touch me not was the approach as far as international politics was concerned. Foreign affair is foreign to us. They deliberately worked on this principle since; Brittan was controlling them for a long period of time and they had to wage war to live peacefully. And they did not want to follow the footstep of British in controlling the world which is uncontrollable in any case.

Since then, USA grew in strength and wealth. Then arrived FDR who believed that USA need to interfere with others’ affairs in order to safeguard the interest and security of USA. And adopted the typical Machiavellian approach, participated and dictated terms for other warring countries. He could not motivate fellow Americans since Washington’s idealism still lingered around the minds of the people.

At this time, Woodrow Wilson became the president. He believed in moral idealism and was convinced himself and others that USA has a moral obligation to take part in the international politics. He cleverly interpreted George Washington saying, “When it comes to human issues, nothing is foreign to us and we need to play a vital role in shaping international politics”. Wilson was an academician (professor), so I do give benefit of doubt to his idealism. But when we hear the similar utterances made by people like George Bush (Junior and Senior), the blood pressure goes up.

I can easily live with the pragmatic people like FDR, they are selfish, they know that they are selfish and I know that they are selfish, and also I know that I am selfish, so the game is straight forward. They are predictable and I need to move coins as per the predicament. But living with moralists is very confusing, I just do not know when they will compromise with their idealism, and their game changing move will remain a mystery. This uncertainty can drive any one into the world of craziness.

The story of a Hammer

Watzlawick wrote this short story. A man wants to hang a picture, but has no hammer. He wants to go to his neighbor to borrow one. Then he starts to doubt: perhaps his neighbor won’t give him a hammer. Just yesterday he had given him only a hasty greeting. “He probably has something against me. But I didn’t do anything against him, did I?” The man gradually works himself up into a rage against his repulsive neighbor. Finally he runs over, rings the doorbell, and shouts at the neighbor: “Keep your stupid hammer!”

Trying to solve a problem by oneself is not a bad idea. But imagining a problem and trying to solve it is not a great idea. It will at best make us fool of ourselves and at worst it will take us mental asylum. 

God Speaks

 

Thus spoke God, The Almighty

With compassion and with much concern

To a MBA Student

Who managed to step into the second year

             JLT is a part of Life

             Life is not a part of JLT

            Grade is a part of Learning

            Learning is not a part of Grade

            Placement is a part of Education

            Education is not a part of Placement

But, the Student remained unconvinced

After much deliberation and discussion

He was convinced beyond any confusion

“The God needs a reality check”

Seeing is Believing – VIII

"The shadow is where your personal gold is"
                                                   Carl Jung 

Once Johnny, a simpleton, visited a zoo. He was excited seeing all animals and birds in cages. Out of love, he touched animals and spoke to them with great concern. When he came across a tiger, he shouted with joy and wanted to touch him. As he extended his hand, the tiger hit him with his paw. Johnny’s hand was broken and in pain he cried. He was admitted in the hospital for the treatment.

After few months, he was healed of the wound and broken bones, he visited again the same zoo. When he saw the tiger in the cage, he went near and said, “I have forgiven and forgotten what you did to me, now I want to shake hands with you.” And extended his hand, the tiger once again hit him. And again, Johnny was admitted in the hospital.

The doctor who treated him enquired why did he do the same thing again. Johnny replied, “People always told me that I should forgive and forget negative things of others, and I just followed their advice.” The doctor smiled and said to him, “Johnny, people have wrongly advised you, the right thing is ‘Forgive but don’t forget’ ”.

Once he was healed of the broken bones, he went to the tiger and said, “I forgive you for what you did to me, but I will not forget the incident”. This time he did not extend his hand to touch the tiger.

The mind being concerned only with survival, easily does not forget painful experience. That is the reason we do not touch the hot stove. But if we fail to forgive, then life becomes a big burden.

One of the major reasons for people being affected by asthma is their inability to forgive others. Of course we do not include the people who have real medical reason in this category. In hypno-therapy, fantasy exercise is used to cure the asthma patients who do not have medical defect. The following is the process in which the exercise is conducted:

1. Close the eyes and relax by breathing in and out
2. Bring to the mind the person who has done negative thing to you
3. Look at him in the form of his picture (photo) (since you hate him/her, you will be seeing him either in a disfigured form or in a dark and degusting shape)
4. Slowly say the words, I forgive you. (It will be difficult in the first time, take time to utter these words)
5. Send your blessing to him, and sincerely pray for his welfare.
6. Give some positive colors to the picture of that person; make it as clear as possible (If it is difficult, stop the process and return to it at latter time)
7. With increasing number of attempts, you will be able to see his picture in a normal form (dark and disfigured shape will become normal).

The moment you are able see his picture clearly and with normal color, you will immediately experience joy and complete relaxation.

Basically it means that by forgiving, you are not doing any favor to the person whom you hate but you are creating a matured and pleasant self within you. It releases positive energy within you.

Seeing is Believing - VII

Parents, teachers, and friends often tell us that anger is a bad feeling. They point out that only bullies, drunkards, bad boys, and irrational creatures get angry. A good boy or a good girl only smiles.

We continue to perpetuate the myth that matured person who has the wisdom never gets angry. And we look down upon an individual who gets angry.

As already pointed out that anger has a definite purpose, and it the cause of freedom struggles and creative enterprises. If we suppress anger then effectively we suppress our creative instinct.

The real difference between the matured and immature is that the matured person channelizes his anger whereas the immature is consumed by anger and acts impulsively. Anger is a powerful tool, it can create miracles or destroy source of life in the person and his surroundings.

Anger which is transformed can manifest itself in different forms; in case of Buddha it became compassion, in Karl Marks it became social revolution, in Gandhi it became Satyagraha, and in Martin King Luther it became civil right movement. At the same time, in case of terrorists, and other underworld dons, it brings in sufferings and destruction.

In the book ‘The Secret Language of Feelings’, the famous hypnotist Calvin Banyan points out three steps to deal with anger:

    1. Identify the name of the feeling: Angry or any other name for it. Mad, angry, enraged, pissed off, hurt etc.

    2.  Identify  the cause of  the  feeling: As mentioned above, anger comes  from  the  perception  that  something  is  happening  that  is either unfair to oneself or to someone or something I care for. 

    3. Identify a satisfying response: 

              a. Do a reality check: Is your perception of the situation accurate? Is the situation really unfair? Often the answer is no, and that neutralizes the feeling automatically. 

         b. If the situation is really unfair, then make it fair. That is why one experiences the anger. It is a call to make things fair. In this case this is righteous anger. And once we have achieved fairness, anger will subside. 

          c. If we cannot make it fair due to some impossible situation, then we must forgive.

Seeing is Believing- VI

What makes me happy? , What makes me sad? , What makes me angry? , What am I afraid of? , Which situations make me lose control?  Why?

Answering these questions without any justification, without any fear is a healthy exercise, the more we do better our life will be. 

Even if we want to, we can’t run away from our feelings. In fact, it is these emotions which give us the proof that we are alive. It is our emotions which are original, and we can have copy right over them. All other things – ideas, vision, beliefs, convictions, and rituals etc. – are borrowed and brainwashed products.

There are four basic emotions; all others are derivative of these fundamental emotions. Anger/Fear, Joy, Sorrow and Sex are the primitive, and the most original emotions. Fear and Anger are made up of the same stuff; they are the two sides of the same coin.

Every feeling has a definite purpose, if we are not aware of the purpose; we end up satisfying that feeling with wrong things. It may give some relief for some time, but eventually it will take its toll on us. For example, I feel lonely and I try to compensate it by watching a movie will be a stupid move, Kareena kapoor is not going to alleviate the loneliness. It may give temporary satisfaction, but it will grow stronger and will haunt me forever. Some people deal with loneliness by buying a dog (in USA, it is very common) and others by eating ice-cream or chocolate or pizza (at XIM, it is common).

There are eight so called bad feelings which are commonly experience by us:

Fear: It is a voice in you saying “I feel something bad might happen”.  

Stress: I feel that there is too much to do.   

Anger:  Something  is  happening  that  is  unfair  towards  me  or someone or something I care about.    

Sadness:  I have lost some someone or something that is important to me.   

Boredom: I do not have enough challenge in my life.   

Loneliness: I need more meaningful relationships.  

Guilt:  I have done something that is unfair to someone.    

Inadequacy: I feel that there is something wrong with me. 

The function of our feelings is not making our life miserable. They indicate what is good for our survival on this planet. Our brain cares little about our happiness but obsessed with our survival. Our brain was hard-wired when we were living in forest which was a hostile place for living. So it looks after our safety and it uses feelings to communicate with us. If we do not deal with our feeling as per its purpose, it will lead us to the secondary emotion which is known as ‘Frustration’. And if we continue to remain in the state of frustration without addressing the primary feeling, then we will be rewarded with tertiary feeling ‘Depression’.

Up to secondary level, things are within our control, if we manage to reach the third level then we need some self proclaimed expert’s help, of course he or she will charge for the help they provide.

Seeing is Believing – V

What gets registered in the mind is not in our control. Whatever happens to us, around us, impressed us and depressed us, everything gets stored in our mind. Mind is a non discriminating clerk, without bias it accumulates all things – good, bad, ugly.

That is the reason; mind is called by some sages as a garbage-bin. Every house needs a garbage-bin; otherwise, the house will stink in no times. But if we start living in garbage-bin, our life can become miserable.

Eric Berne compares the modern man’s life style with the man in the cesspool, dirt is up to his lower-lip, and ecstatically he is saying, “I am comfortable, just don’t make waves.” This is what happens when we have converted garbage-bin as our living room.

One cannot tackle the problems created by the mind by being in the mind and by associating with mind. One cannot overcome worries, anxieties, fears and frustrations. One must dissociate oneself from the mind, stepping out of the mind is a necessary condition to observe and make the corrective steps. It is here, the fantasy exercises play a vital role.

J.Krishnamurthy talks about the importance of ‘oberserving the observer’. In the sentence ‘I know myself’, ‘Myself’ is the object and ‘I’ is the subject. ‘I’, the subject observes ‘Myself’ the object. Therefore, ‘I’ is the observer, and when that observer is being observed, one is able to dissociate from the mind to some extent. This state of being is called ‘dissociation’. Let’s not get into hair-splitting analysis of further layers of dissociation, it may lead to paralysis. Getting out of oneself and looking the self objectively brings in new dimension of self-knowledge.

Visual Picture - -->      Feelings   ---->      Behavior

The dynamic process of a behavior being caused is rather simple. Mind first sees a picture visually, and it creates the accompanying feelings and in turn it causes the associated behavior.

So if one wants to bring changes in the behavior, the starting point is bringing changes in the visual image his mind produces.

For example, if a person is suffering from public speaking phobia, he invariable sees a frightening visual image as soon as he steps on the stage. One person with this phobia reported that he sees that all audiences are staring at him with wide open eyes; all eyes are popping up and looking at him. Certainly it is a scary situation to be in. This visual creates the feelings of anxiety and nervousness, so his behavior becomes one of running away or fainting.

So if you want to change the behavior, easiest way is to change the visual.

Seeing is Believing-IV

What is common among: Neuro-linguistic-programming, Native American Shamans, Hypno-therapy, Transcendental Meditation, Third wave behaviorists, Sadhana of Antony Demello and Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev?

All of them effectively make use of fantasy exercise. First seeing things in mind (believing and in the virtual world), then realizing them in real world (in the material world). Fantasy exercise is nothing but day-dreaming with a mission.

All of us enjoy day dreaming. I don’t think that I would have gone through long years of education without the help of day dreaming. I could pass through schools and colleges without breaking down or without any serious mental depression, just because of day dreaming. Boring lectures and unwanted books could not damage me because I was not listening to them.

I never bunked a class mainly for two reasons; (1) I did not have the guts and (2) I made use of them for day dreaming.

In fact, day dreaming is the biggest shield against the inevitable mundane and repetitive activities in our life. The biggest gift of day dreaming is that you can do anything you want without being caught. Police can’t arrest, the judge won’t punish and parents will have no clue about what we are up to.

But for our mind, there is no difference between fantasy and reality. Whether you are looking at a dog on a street or remembering a dog in the fantasy, it is same neurons which get activated in the brain. So the unconscious mind creates opportunities to fulfill whatever we see in the mind, provided there is a burning desire and intensity connected with the fantasy we visualize.

Following steps are the effective ways to create the result we want in our life. Take time and go through the steps seriously, it takes less than 15 minutes in the first time, repeat it twice a day for three days, after that just once a day till you achieve what you want. When you repeat the exercise, it will take less than three minutes only.

Step 1: Know what is that you truly want. It can be a short term goal or a long term need. First you take a short term goal for the exercise. Once you get it successfully, you can go for a long term or bigger goal and do the exercise. About  a  hundred  years  ago  Dr  Wallace Wattles  said  “Thought  is  the  only  power  which  can  produce tangible  riches  from  the  Formless  Substance”. His idea is still valid.

Step 2: Train your mind to think in a correct way. Doubts regarding what you want will arise in the mind. The subconscious mind will put forward all types of arguments, since it retains everything that has happened to you. Do not suppress them, do not reject them, and do not accept them, all you have to do is observe them without any judgment. Then focus yourself on what you want.

Step 3: Write down on a clear piece of paper your definite mission statement:  what  do  you  want,  by  what  time  do  you  want  and how do you plan  to achieve  it. Be as precise as possible.  If you want a 10 lakh rupees,  write “I am going to accumulate 10 lakh rupees by  31^st,   December  20--,  I  am  going  to  earn  this  money  (by doing)…  I  am  going  to  use  this  money…  (for  making  my  life better  or  helping  other  people  etc)…  And  I  am  going  to  do whatever it takes, no matter what to accumulate this money.”

If you do not know the way in which you are going get the money, do not worry, just keep it aside. As days pass by, your mind will eventually come up with the right strategy.

Then create a  detailed,  solid,  foolproof  plan  on  how  you  are going  to  achieve  your mission  statement. Remember when  you make  a  definite  decision  to  bring  about  a  change  backed  by  a burning  desire,  you  are  only  tapping  into  a  strong  current  of infinite possibilities. The whole universe will conspire to help you but you will need to have a detailed and organized plan on how you wish to bring about this change. A detailed plan will give you the mental road map of where your destination is going to be. It will also give you a reality check on whether you are truly making progress or simply going about in circles.  Have  a  time  frame, have  a  clear  vision  of  your  outcome,  and  chart  a  step  by  step road map  on  how  to  get  there.

Step 4: you accept and believe that whatever you want to have already happened and thank your higher spiritual power for that (Can be God or Nature or anybody – parents, mentors). When you do this, visualize the goal as if you have received it. Make it more colorful, see yourself rejoicing.

Step 5: Write down on the diary regarding what is your emotional state today, what have you done, what were the successes, what were the failures, how does today fit into your overall mission of reaching your goal?

Seeing is Believing - III

“When  we  walk  to  the  edge  of  all  the  light  that  we  have  and  take  a  step  into  the darkness of the unknown, we must believe one of two things will happen: there will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will be taught to fly”
                    - Frank Outlaw

It is time to revisit the Spinoza’s claim ‘Seeing is Believing’ and reframe it as ‘Believing is Seeing’.

The king was sitting on his decorated chariot, and the annual procession of the king started. Millions of people gathered on the roadsides and were shouting slogans in the praise of the king.

A young man, with his friend, too came to participate in the procession. Witnessing the majestic appearance of the king, he wanted to get his attention, hence he shouted, “Oh, mighty king, I can teach your horses to fly”. Somehow the king managed to listen to this outrageous statement.

The next day, the king ordered his solders to find that young man and to bring him to the palace. The young man along with his friend was presented to the king. The king said, “I am happy to know that you can teach my horses to fly, here is my horse, teach it to fly”. The young man without any hesitation approached the horse and inspected it, then answered, “My Lord, you need to give me eight months for the training, after the eighth month, your horse will indeed fly like an eagle”.

The king scrutinized him for a while, then said, “Well young man, if you make my horse to fly, I will reward you with gifts. If you fail, then you will be beheaded for wasting my time”

The young man thanked the king for granting a chance to exhibit his talents. And he departed from the palace happily with king’s horse. His friend was agitated and furious, “Are you serious, how you are going to fulfill your word to the king? You are going to be beheaded after 8 months.”

The young man answered, “Friend we have 8 months in our favor. Who knows what will happen in 8 months. The king looks old, he may die. The horse too looks old, it may die. Or who knows the horse may indeed learn to fly”.

This is the story that illuminates the approach, “Believing is Seeing”. The following are the three basic cognitive tenets one cultivates within one’s believe system:

1. I am more than what I am. There is no written script which my life follows, but I am the author who is writing the script of my life.

2. I think and I create what I think.

3. The thought is the potentiality, and the burning desire (focused attention) + the willingness to pay the necessary price (willingness to face any tests) are the actualizing agents.